I’ve been having difficulty finding the desire to work on my own music lately. So I’ve decided to try something drastic; I will not turn on or seek to listen to any music for 7 days.
That’s a lot for me. I always have music on. Sometimes I’ll have multiple layers of music on. I’m talking 3 or more self-selected sources of music in the same small space.
I use it to drown out my thoughts when they become overbearing. I use it to drown out the soft noises from outdoors that pique my interest and distract me. I use it to mask the noises that startle me. I use it to mask the fan. I use it to waste time. I use it to relieve the frustration of disliking my own musical expressions. I use it to work (on other people’s creations). I use it to explore technical processes. I use it to find practice material. I use it to time myself such as when; cooking, cleaning, exercising or waiting for glue.
What I don’t do with music is listen to it. Actually listen to it. I haven’t done that in decades.
So, I am going to not seek to listen to music for 7 days. I will not avoid it if my wife is listening to it. I will not avoid it in the store. I will not avoid it on streams or such.
I’m on Day 2 now, and it’s surprisingly difficult. My anxiety level has skyrocketed and I’ve gone through enough benzos to kill a horse. Doesn’t matter though.